ABOUT DEPARTURE WITH CHILDREN ON A PERMANENT RESIDENCE
If the father of the child is deprived of the parental rights, has died, or is simply unknown (the woman is single mother) — here everything is simple and clear. If he is simply not interested in life and education of the child, everything is simple too, such parents in 90% of cases without problems sign the consent to a permanent residence of the son or the daughter in others country. Well, if the father of the child is an alcoholic or a drug addict, the mother goes straight to the court with the claim for deprivation of the parental rights.
But most often the relationship between parents -the former spouses are finally and irrevocably spoiled by a painful divorce, hints of relatives or just banal misunderstanding. Fathers not unreasonably, worry whether they will be able to see, communicate with the child at least by phone, whether their son or the daughter will begin to call the father foreign uncle in a year after departure …
Many women, in my experience, forget that despite the divorce of parents, the child still has a father and mother, and the father basically according to the current legislation of Ukraine (namely, the jurisdiction of our country is regulated by these issues) has the full right to take a comprehensive and full participation in the upbringing of the child, and no court in the country and the world will be able to oblige him to agree to departure of the child on a permanent residence. Beware of the careless lawyers who are filing lawsuits to the court to obtain permission to travel to rest and treatment.
What can become a way out in such stalemate?
Personal experience and experience of my colleagues in Europe and North America testify that almost the only way out in this situation can be the conclusion of the agreement "On the mutual participation of parents in the maintenance and upbringing of the child." This agreement allows you to foresee all possible life situations, from the frequency of visits to your home country and communication with grandmothers and grandfathers and finishing with communication time by phone and Skype with the father. Also, as a rule, it is prescribed that the mother undertakes the obligation not to take any steps to deprivation of the biological father of the parental rights, not to "tune" the child against the father, and so on.
Many also specify the size of "contribution" of each parent for training of the child in college, payment of planned and unplanned treatment and so on. The advantage of this way is that the fathers get guarantees of their rights, and mothers - permits for permanent residence together with children, the families don't break up and do not finally damage relations between though in the past, but close people. Many, by the way, put non-disclosure ... to the child as an obligatory condition of this agreement . After all, for a vulnerable child's mentality it is always better to think that mother and father have just peacefully and amicably agreed among themselves.
The people going on this way choose a civilized, western way of settlement of the relations, aren't involved in the long-term exhausting trials, don't go on frank crime with payment of bribes to careless notaries, they protect sincere health of the children, without projecting their life problems on them. The main thing to which I always call the former spouses –parents to refuse personal ambitions and to remember that they have children who, despite a divorce, indissolubly will connect them for the rest of the life. And depends only on them whether their child with understanding that his loved people- mother and father - are blood enemies, or, on the contrary, or, on the contrary, even if they live in different countries, but still not strangers to each other civilized people.
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